Bordering on Shakespearian

The following is a trancript of my favourite ad of 2009:
"Got an old mobile?"
"Ancient"
"Sooooo last year"
"Do you want some money for it?"
"Dosh?"
"Rennies?
"Wanga?"
"Then follow three simple steps…"
"One"
"Log onto envirophone.com"
"Two"
"Send them your old mobile phone in pre-paid envelope"
"Three"
"Get your cheque in the post…"
"Fifty pounds"
"A hundred pounds"
"Maybe even a hundred and fifty pounds!!!"
"Coooooool"
"Aaaand it helps the environment"
"Find out what your old mobile phone is worth at envirophone.com"
"That’s envirophone.com"